Occasionally, I’d like to consider myself as a creative person. This is the story of why I do what I do, and other tales of setting the box on fire instead of simply thinking outside of it.

Sometimes I’ll doodle in class, record painful or dissonant sounds on my computer, create a level in LittleBigPlanet, or even try my hand at video editing.

During the Spring of 2009, I saw fit to make a couple of AMVs (short for anime music video). In order to create an AMV one must first get video footage of an anime show that he or she is partial. Then you’ll find a song that will go along with your edited footage of said anime. To put it simply, you make a music video out of footage from an anime. People have done this with video games and other video as well; however, anime seems to be the most popular.

Just like with any fandom, an anime music video community has appeared. Like with real communities, there are certain standards one must live up to in order to be part of the community. Personally, I didn’t like those standards. As a matter of fact, I don’t like most AMVs nor its fans. I feel that creativity is stunted at the cost of getting “internet fame” and lots of views. Very many share the same styles, concepts, and other methods.

I wanted to try something different. I didn’t care if it was good or not, I usually don’t. Trying to do something different is good enough for me, I don’t really know how to do it any other way. I proceeded to make a few short AMVs with very little direction and more repetition to match the noise songs which I had decided to use as my signature music picks. There were a lot of Evanescence AMVs, and very few with loud and abrasive noise songs. This had to change.

I just wanted to see what I could get away with. Two AMVs were from Evangelion: one was an homage to John Cage’s 4’33″ and the other was just a seizure-inducing speedcore song. Both used only 1 small scene of animation from one of the last episodes, but focused on how much I could manipulate a single 1 frame scene. The other I did was 4 minutes of someone cutting the tip off a cigar.

All of those used songs that were not my own. Eventually, I decided to use one of my own songs for a video. There was an anime I was really enjoying in Fall 2009 called “Kuchu Buranko” (Trapeze), and I knew I had to make an AMV using footage from it. I couldn’t think of any noise songs that would go well with it, though. So I had decided to create one.

The end result was me screaming into a pickup microphone “I Love You” to my wife in the other room. Since it was a pickup mic, very little discernible speech comes through except whatever was conducted through my teeth when I was able to bite down and yell at the same time. Perhaps it was a little cliché, but it was one of the first times I had ever put that much passion into one of my songs.

Eventually, the end result was something I was actually proud of. A very colorful production that entranced me when I watched it. I enjoyed it, and that’s what mattered. Some people get creative for attention, I get creative because it’s just exercise for my brain. Sharing it is just what I do. I guess that happens to kids who grew up with the likes of Soulseek. That was the perfect place for that, but I digress.

I got a fair amount of positive feedback from friends and strangers alike at various places on the internet. I thought it was pretty amazing that I could just tinker in unfamiliar territory,  intentionally do things people don’t like, and then still have people appreciate the work.

Then several months later I received a private message on youtube.

When I first read this message, I couldn’t help but to bust out laughing. Most of the time people will either get angry, or have some sort of negative reaction to it not being Country Britpop. I’ve never heard anyone, ever, seriously think that there was something actually wrong with the recording. It warms my heart.

The guy is a cool guy. I even got his permission to use his private message for this post!

Comments like these is why I still do what I do. This is why I create. Perhaps it’s the dadaist in me, but hearing someone honestly think your sound is broken has to mean something. It’s not like it was intentional to sound “broken” or that I wanted comments like that. No, the creative things I do is a cathartic release, an exercise. Some would call it a mental defecation.

I could agree to that. In this modern time, we are the receivers of so many messages. If you don’t digest and expunge your waste, you will get sick. I don’t want to be sick.